You know you’ve had too many medical procedures when you’re out on a favorite hike, take a deep breath of satisfaction, exhale and say to your husband, “I bet if you took my oxygen saturation level right now, it would be 100%.”
Honest! I said that. Can you believe it! Time to get me out of those doctors’ offices and treatment rooms and back to the woods.
Blue Sky, Fresh Air!
But that will have to wait. For you see, and let me transition a little softly here, as I started this post with a true funny story and am currently changing direction. I don’t want to set you up for humor and then let you down.
So, here we go….
My last post showed me undergoing a CT scan. This post tells you that the CT scan found a little something.
Well, a BIG something, really, but not in inches. Big in impact.
Have I spent enough time transitioning yet, so you are prepared for what I am about to tell you? I know I wasn’t prepared!
The cancer has come back.
Dr. Baron, my compassionate oncologist, wants to start me on chemotherapy. He says it will improve the quality of my life and give me a bit more longevity. I have no reason to doubt him. Therefore, I will receive chemo starting this Tuesday. Two months from now, I will see Leonard again when I undergo another CT scan to see if the drugs are effective. I know Leonard will help me through this!
My flesh may be a little weak right now, but my spirits are high.
Besides, I have a choice. I can either:
#1) Go crazy lamenting the life I will not have, thus ruining the life I do have
or #2) Enjoy what I have and thank God for gracing me with life.
There is nothing that can stop my love of this one precious life: I don’t care how BIG it is! So, I choose #2, but will get back to you if I find that’s not working!
Oh, yeah, and to transition back to a lighter note, I will get back on that trail again–soon. And when I do, I won’t leave all of the pine nuts on the trail this time for those dang squirrels! I’ll gather some for myself, continuing to find nourishment for body and soul from the land I love. Won’t you join me in The Sweet Life? If not now, when?
Ah, Nuts!
Sweetie, you do everything you do with better grace than anyone I know. Love you right down to your toenails.
XXOO
You are too cute! I love you, too!
Beautifully worded, Gayle. You have a brave and enduring spirit.
Thanks, Jennifer. I’ve missed reading your writing!
Your strength, love of life, and amazing spirit inspire this world! Thank you so much for your journal entries!
Thank you so much for your kind words. I love that you feel that way!
Gayle,
You will beat this again. With you zest for life and energy you will fight this thing and win!!!!
Best,
Krystyna and Jacek
Dear Krystyna and Jacek, I have already won this fight! Please keep me informed as to Jacek’s progress–and yours!
Hi Gayle I am so sorry to hear about the test results however I will keep you in my prayers and believe our Good Lord for a healing.
By the way, I have a new Word Press Site and have been taking a class once a month on line. I may be able to help you now if you still have some questions and would be more than happy to come to your home and help out a bit. Just let me know. 530-515-6923.
Thanks for your prayers–always appreciated! Also thanks for the WP offer. May take you up on it someday. I did find someone in town, however, that has helped me. He’s knowledgeable and reasonably priced.
Oh my dearest Gayle, I am heartsick…you are always in my prayers everyday. As I have said to so many, we don’t know the path we will be walking be just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and let God be our guide. You and Lloyd are such fighters…please let me know if there is something I can do besides PRAY!!! I love you and Mike…
We love you too, you feisty thing, you! There is something you can do. Take good care of yourself! You have always amazed me with your seemingly endless energy and spirit!
I find words failing me for a moment. I pray for healing and that God gives you enough strength to fight this with peace and thankfulness, threaded with your joy at the gifts you have. You mean much to many. We will continue to go with you on this journey. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us.
Hi Colleen! I will be happy to have you walk with me on this journey. Should be a long, albeit scary one!
Ahhhh Little Sister my heart hurts for you and for all of us who love you so much.
I don’t want your heart to hurt! But I love you for loving me so much.
My dear sweet Girl,I am a bit speechless, but will try to relate to what you said, although that is really impossible as you went through this, and the rest of us can only imagine. In my heart, it seemed as you were healed. And as it went we were more sure than ever. I do want to mention the power of prayer, and miracles which you are aware of. I wish I were there and could hug you, and pray with you. Maybe that is something we can arrange soon. I and our class love you and Mike so much. You are hero’s with wings. I will talk to you soon. All my love and prayers to you, Sharon
Mike is still my hero! Thank you for your love and prayers. It helps keep me strong. I also love your quote from Hebrews. Very soothing.
“So let us confidently approach the throne of grace to receive mercy and favor and to to helllp in time of need.”
Hebrews 4:16
“So let us confidently approach the throne of grace to receive mercy and favor and to to helllp in time of need.” Hebrews 4:16
The roller coaster of illness, healing and tests. So glad you trust your doctor – so it is an easy decision for you to make about more chemo. I will hold you in my heart and visualize you singing your song, loving life.
You are right about the roller coaster. I thank you for visualizing me singing my song, loving my life. You have true vision!
Another mountain to climb- my heart is heavy but I so admire you for your ability to continue to stay positive. Love You, I think you are an inspiration for all of us.
Thanks, Nancy. Have been blessed to climb many mountains in my life. You’re right, this is one more! Tie a helium balloon to that heart of yours. It’s big enough that you might need more than one!
My dear friend Gayle, I love you! Diedra
Sweet, Diedra! I love your love!
Awww nuts is right! I love your writing, and I love hiking with you and the gang! Looking forward to seeing you back on the trail again soon, Gayle. Meanwhile, keep up that amazing spirit, and I will keep you in my prayers.
Thanks, Jeannie. Look forward to hiking with you again, too. Thanks for your prayers.
Dearest Gayle,
Thank you for sharing the good and not so good as you are truly giving others,
including myself, courage to live life as full as possible.
You are precious and my prayers go out to you and Michael. Love, Peggie
We both accept and thank you for your prayers! Now, go out there and get ’em!
Gayle, sorry to hear about the news. I love your outlook and humor on it. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. You are one strong woman…on the trail, bike, and in life!
Hi Sara, Yeah, I’m sorry, too! But I am not sorry to hear about your new expected arrival! Bring him/her on. Another one to adore and join Emma in keeping their parents on their toes!
Life is so precious. Every day that God gives us. All our days are numbered but I will keep you at the top of my prayer list and will ask that your days are many and filled with joy.
The only thing better would be to have some of those filled with your singing! Thank you, friend.
Gayle.
your heart, your wisdom, your message… How to even speak English here? (I told Jan I’m into the idea of learning Gayle-ic right now)… First, I love you and am grateful that you are. You make dance partners out of would be enemies…
When looking at this post by viewing photographs what do I see? Mist, sky, sunrise, mountains, trees, birds, branches, magical huge Redding acorn—
And I feel peace, I am less afraid. And I love this world.
Thanks for posting this world through your eyes. It is spectacular and i am lucky to share it with you.
Gayle-ic! Only you could come up with such a term! I love you, and want you to always love this world. My God, there is so much to love!!!!!!!
My dear sweet friend – Well, I can only imagine all the love and prayers and bright colorful thought/lights that are heading your way, have already reached you and are just pouring through you! Count on mine being right there, too – one thing I have learned about miracles, they can sure surprise us, astound us, and well, just plain enchant us. So, Miracles Abound for you! You are joy personified – can’t say it enough. Oh, you are SO loved by so many!!
Thank you, Rita. I hope your imagination is huge because I do have so many beautiful friends sending me loving thoughts! God bless you all! I have already experienced one miracle, but heck, that was a year ago–ha ha. Also sending love to you during your time of loss.
“Aww,nuts” says it well. We’ve learned lots about strength and love from you and your battles and triumphs with life. Thanks for sharing them with us and helping us turn our misfortunes into learning experiences and our defeats into the realization that they are the signs that we have life. We’re with you and grateful to you.
Richard! Thank you for all of your beautiful sentiments. My gosh, I’m liable to get a big head to add to my troubles!
Glad to have you journey with me. It may not be a sailing trip to BVI this time, but it will be exploring the deep unknown. Wonder if there will be tree-ripened mangoes along the way! Bless you, friend.
welll, to be honest, I’m just trying not to feel angry! So, I’m chewing madly on honey roasted peanuts and thinking positive thoughts. I selfishly do not like the idea that you have to endure more medical interventions, but also appreciate that there are options 🙂 So, that’s it. all my “positive” energy,love and prayers, to you and Mike. And, if I see pine nuts at a decent price I’ll buy a truckload for you! xo Joy
Thanks, Joy. Hope you conquered the anger! Honey roasted peanuts sound good, though. Glad you’re sending good thoughts our way. We’ll take–and use–all that we can get! Keep walking that dog, and you can leave the pine nuts on the trail. I have a bunch!
Hello Gayle,
I’ll start by saying I always love your energy you bring when I see you… then I will go on and send you some healthy energy. One thing I have learned in the 15 years of working in CT is that the people who seem to do well in life are the ones that have positive energy and laughter in their lives. So, I say keep laughing, keep filling your heart with positive energy and I’ll keep sending you heathy energy…… Aaaaaaaaand when you come in for your CT scan, I’ll try my best to put a smile on your face with a lil dose of laughter.
Take care and I will see you soon.
Thanks, Leonard. The beauty is, you won’t even have to try to put a smile on my face. That’s what you do naturally. I will, however, happily accept healing energy. This body could use it right now! I do have plenty to laugh about right here at home. Like turkeys and squirrels outside fighting over the sunflower seeds I threw around earlier. You’d think the turkeys would win, but those squirrels are feisty!
If everything else goes well, will see you in April!
Dearest Gayle,
Just want you to know that I will be praying along with 20 ladies in my Bible Study group weekly for your healing as well as for you to feel God’s presence and comfort as you deal with this turn of events. You are such a blessing to others, and as Richard (above) said so eloquently, “we’re with you and grateful to you!” Take care of yourself and your smiley spirit! ((((HUGS))))
Bless you and all of your ladies! Prayers are most welcome! And that Richard, I told him I graded him with an A+ on his reading skills. (Assuring him I do NOT think of him as a third grader!) He so “gets” my message. One of love!
Gayle,
So sad to hear this news, but you inspire the rest of us to live life to the fullest no matter how long we have. My cousin was diagnosed a year ago with lung cancer, treated successfully, but that it came back. She’s now doing chemo…but has the same attitude as you do. She is living life as fully as she is able, leaving a legacy of grace when it is her time to go.
It can be a challenging assignment as “we” tend to be attached to longevity. People would comment about my mother’s long life. “Oh wonderful, she’s 101? … you have longevity in your family….you’ll live to be 100.” To which I replied, “I hope not.” Even though there were many reasons we were grateful to have her, the last ten years of her life were not fun for her.
I pray you live years longer, Gayle, [not to 100], but long enough to enjoy more mountains and regale us with your tales.
Blessings
Such a beautiful sharing, thank you, Martha. My mother lived to be 99-years-old but had dementia for the last several years. Not a good thing for anyone involved. Her sister lived to be 100 and was quick witted and vivacious. One never knows. So, with what time I have, I’ll continue to love it!
Thank you
Wow…you have longevity in your family, too!! I think it’s a crap shoot. But no matter how long you live, it will be a life well lived. That’s what counts…not the years racked up.
So true. As for one, I do want those years, though!
Martha, please feel free to leave your blog address. My readers may enjoy it.
Thanks, Gayle