I bought $100 worth of art supplies Thursday morning while in San Francisco. You may not think that was a big deal since I have cash to cover the plastic and I love to create art, but it was. You see, in an hour I was scheduled to meet with my SF oncologist. He would tell me the results of my CAT scan, and I was worried.
My Redding oncologist told me two weeks ago that the new hard lump I felt (he felt it, too) near my belly button was cancer growth, that the chemo was no longer working. He stopped chemo so my body could recover enough to handle a new treatment in case my primary oncologist had a “Plan B.” I knew the immediate consequences if there was no further plan.
Buying unnecessary art supplies for the future when I may not be here is hard for this frugal-minded girl to do. I wrestled with the fact that I may not live long enough to use the paints and brushes I wanted, so why spend the money. But then I decided that if I didn’t have very long to live, I would paint! I would paint my way through it. I would paint my journey. I would paint my love and my tears. I would paint my end. In other words, I would live until I died. So I bought my treasures and headed to the doctor’s office.
Dr. Baron–Healer
Dr. Baron met Mike and me instantly and whisked us into his office. I had told Mike that morning that I was worried about the test results, and I was worried about what I would say in response to options that may be offered. The three of us settled in, Mike and I practically holding our breath.
Dr. Baron spoke first, “Good news. Your cancer is still stable.”
“What?” I was hesitant. “Have you seen the report from the other oncologist?”
He scanned the report. “Sometimes there are small set-backs along the way, but the scan looks good.”
He led me to the examining room, where he looked for the cancerous lymph node. (Medically referred to as Sister Mary Joseph Nodule–I thought my Redding Dr. was swearing in Catholic when he first called it by name!)
As the physician pressed the area of the nodule he asked, “Do you mean this ?”
“No. The hard lump is gone,” I answered. “I couldn’t find it yesterday or the day before.”
“I can’t find it, either,” he said. “I’m very relieved.”
Me, too!
And then I told him the story about the Buddhist Monk who had given me a healing two days earlier….
Buddhist Monk–Healer
And I will tell you the story next time I post a blog.
I won’t now because I can’t wait to open those delicious colors of paint I bought in San Francisco last Thursday morning.
The tubes that remind me that a life full of passion is to be lived, not to be given up on. At least not yet!
Good For You!! Now where did I leave the Kleenex?
God Bless
bd
🙂 Thanks, bd!
This post was like reading a suspense novel in a few hundred words. Good heavens. I was mourning and then I was crying and then I was rejoicing. Can not wait to hear the story about the Buddhist monk healer. Isn’t it great that healers come in so many forms…it’s up to us to recognize them and to receive them. Beautiful post…thank you.
Hi Martha, I’m finding we are ALL healers! You, too, as your beautiful words lift my spirits!
Amazing! So wonderful, Gayle.
Thanks, Lee!
Miracles! GRACE! LOVE!
Paint, Paint, Paint!!!!
Grace–couldn’t have said it better myself!
Gayle, paint on wise woman. Thanks for being who you are and sharing your heart with us. You lifted me up this Sunday AM. Hope you post some of what you paint. And, I hope you are singing while you paint. Smiling for you, Sandy
Singing while I paint–now that’s the secret to true happiness! Thanks, I’ll try it!
Hi Sweet Gayle, saddened to hear of your scare, over joyed to hear it was unreal 😉 as for painting- first off I intended to go last Friday and remembered at noon (over) try again this Friday! Today I sold my first acrylic in apex 20 yrs to a friend whose passion is singing- shell be singing this Wednesday at my Damsels in Defense party- backyard event, if your up to it, I sure would like you to come. Painting your way through it- I love that and think its a real good thing to do- the zone as we call it is good meditation 🙂 tell me please your luscious colors- Love Ya, Bobbie
Hi Sweet Bobbie! You must come over to see my luscious new colors, and to share them. Let’s paint together, shall we?!
Dear Gayle,
You have truly been blessed; thank you for sharing your blessings, your love for life, and your beautiful journey. You and Mike continue to be in our prayers.
Cindy
Hi Cindy, Thank you for your wishes and the beautiful letter (and cards) you have sent me. Maybe we’ll get the chance to meet one day.
Gail, I am so glad to hear the good news! I also look forward to hearing the rest of the story….. And I look forward to seeing some images that I hope you post after painting with those delicious new colors. Are they acrylic this time?
Hi Lynda, Yes, they are acrylics. I love the bright colors! I am happy to say, however, that a week ago I was craving watercolors. Happy because of how many tubes I have!
Praise The Lord. Heaven can wait. Love you
Your response brought a smile to my face! Heaven can wait, indeed!
Gayle, You are one inspiring woman! What a beautiful post. “I would live until I died.” What great advice for all of us, regardless of our state of health. I’m with you. Let’s pick up those paint brushes and luscious paints, and paint our hearts out! Will we see you at Debbie’s class on the 12th? Thank you for continuing to remind us that life is for living. Love to you, beautiful one.
Canda
Hi Canda, Thank you for your sweet words! I love Debbie’s classes, but the later hours usually don’t work for me. I’m at my best in the mornings. Hoping that will change, however, as I so want to do it all!
I am so thrilled that the news was good! Thank you to Dr. Baron and the Buddhist Monk, to all your “healers”, and to you, as your own healer! And I am happy you bought the art supplies and were determined to paint your way through whatever lay ahead. Keep painting my dear friend. Hugs and love to you and Mike.
Hello Miss Laurian! You are one of my healers: are you aware of that? And as for my own self-healing, I’m working on it! I know that all healing takes place within, and I’m excited to watch the process unfold!
You go girl!! Put those colors down on canvas and enjoy, enjoy!!!
Wendy
Thanks, Wendy! Also thanks again for the houseboat day. There is a blog in the future about that adventure!
I believe in the power of positive thinking. You are positively beautiful.
Positive thinking does improve quality of life. What are your secrets to staying positive?
Life is good Gayle, Praise God for your good report and I hope you have started your painting. You have some wonderful scenes to paint. Barb E
classes are starting 9/17 & 18 and I am continuing with her guidance. I’ll mention you are painting as well. Love & good thoughts, Peggie
Hi Peggie,
So glad you’re still painting. Yes, I could paint the views from my front porch forever! Especially the colorful sunrises (like the header on this blog) that light the winter sky.
H e l l o Gayle! What wonderful news. You can’t have too many great healers in your life!
Thanks, Diana! I so agree. I do think I have some in these four-legged furry creatures who live here, too. 🙂 As you do!
We went to Dr. Barron. The Trips to San Francisco, not to view the beauty but to continue treatment. I would like to go back now with eyes wide open. Glad that Dr. Barron had good news for you. Paint, sing, live.
By the way, last time I saw you, Louie was starting to quilt. Now all we really need is a two bedroom house. One for sleeping and one for quilting.
Sounds like Louis is a remarkable man–one who has survived pancreatic cancer, and one who quilts. You’re a lucky woman!
Life’s moments are precious…let the painting begin!!!
And let the moments keep on coming!
YEAH! What else can I say?
Love to both of you.
Yeah! is good enough! I understand I will get to see you soon–Yay!
Dear Gayle,
I am so overjoyed to hear your good news, I can’t wait to read your story and see your beautiful art work. You are truly an inspiration to us all.
God bless and keep the blogs coming as I enjoy each and every one of them.
Jennie
Thanks, Jennie. God willin’ and the creeks don’t rise, the blogs will continue. 🙂
Gayle
Every post I read is a life lesson. What a wise woman you have become, and what a gift you have for sharing your wisdom. I so look forward to each post, and I always come away in awe…
Thank you Pam. Anyone with your beauty and grace has learned many of life’s lessons already! You shine on the world…..
I was thinking about you last week, and now I know why! I love it – paint your way to the end. I ordered a new easel today. You are something else Gayle.
Glad to know you’re painting! Have you moved yet and settled in?
Missy Gayle Morning Glory, what a glory you are to all of us. I cannot share this story without weeping joyfully! I believe in miracles, but if my faith ever wavered, you have restored it in full. All things are possible for them who love God, and you not only LOVE, you have so many who love you. This love just multiplies exponentially, and it’s all zooming in at you. I believe the miracles can and will keep coming. You are such a daily blessing, we need to thank God every day for giving you to us for that one more day. We should never take blessings or gifts for granted — and this gift is so great it needs truly great thanks. Every day. Love you so much! Thanking God for you right now!
Ummmmmmmm! Or is that Ohmmmmmmmm! Thank you so much for your love, support and encouragement. Life just seems to get better and better, doesn’t it? From the inside out, that is. 🙂 Love and many blessings, dear friend. Gayle
Great news. Can’t wait to see what you create with your new colors
3John 1:2
Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in every way and that your body may keep we’ll even as I know your soul keeps well and prospers! Truly your friend, Linda
Sweet. Both you and John. 🙂 Thank you friend.
I am so glad that I witnessed that healing and was part of it. The funny thing that I never told you was that the day I left for the airport, after your CAT scan and before you found out the above results…..I couldn’t cry. I got on the BART after I hugged you and I examined my emotions. I almost felt guilty that I didn’t cry. I may never see you again. And then there was peace…quiet….calm….I heard the monk again, “You are OK now!” and a rush washed over me…I knew you were ok. I know I will see you again….my body and soul knew that I would see you again. I was not surprised (but relieved) when I heard your results the next day. I love YOU!!!! xoxoxxo
Paint yourself a new story….. 🙂
Of course, paint myself a new story. That goes for you, too, doesn’t it! And I love the word “almost,” in your statement “I almost felt guilty.” It serves us all better to replace guilt with peace and calm! I look forward to seeing you again! Whenever that may be.