I cried.
I couldn’t help it.
Dr. Figueroa, my Redding oncologist, is more like a loved one than a physician. And it’s harder for me to be strong when talking to someone who really cares! So when he asked me how I was doing, tears welled and fell down my cheeks as freely as manna falls from Heaven.
He embraced me and asked what was wrong.
“It’s my husband,” I answered. “This is very hard on him. He wants to make things okay for me, but he can’t.”
“Can you talk to him about this?” asked Dr. Figueroa.
“Yes.”
“Then every night when you go to bed, ask him, ‘Have you done the best you can for me today?'”
I recognized the wisdom of his advice immediately. “Thank you,” I offered as I wiped away my tears.
That night I took the gentle physician’s advice. When my husband and I were settled in bed, I asked Michael, “Have you done the best you can for me today?”
“Yes,” he responded without hesitation.
“Then there is nothing else you can do, except love me.”
“I do love you,” he said through a sigh of release.
What beautiful advice, thank you Dr. Figueroa for helping to lighten our load.
Since then, I’ve also asked myself the same question on days I could barely get out of bed. And when I find the answer to be yes, I’ve done the best I could for myself, I give a sigh of release.
For you see, sometimes I expect too much of myself and am disappointed when I don’t reach my unrealistic goals. But when I stop for just a moment and ask to see the truth in the situation, that, yes, I am doing the best I can each day, even if it isn’t much, then I am content. I am in full support of myself.
I am blessed to have a giant among healers helping me through this difficult time.
His name, too, is Michael.
Dr. Michael Figueroa & Gayle
I cried the whole time reading this.
BEAUTIFUL.
Thank you for you; Thank you for Michael; Thank you for your healers.
And thank you for my readers!
Great advice for all us, trying to be ‘over achievers,’…thanks Gayle,
xo Joy
I think all of us are over-achievers! Even when we can no longer achieve! 🙂
Oh Gayle, now I’m crying! Great crocodile tears because you are such a magnificent human being, a healer for us all! Did you know that? You bring such inspiration into our hearts and light into our spirits – if you don’t even get out of bed one morning, or any morning, or do anything, you are such a beautiful presence that right there, you have done more than everything. I offer a deep and humble and grateful bow to you. Your words mean so much to me; I will, from now on, be more patient and kind to myself. Love to you, Gayle!
Being gentle with yourself is the secret! Thank you for the crocodile tears! I haven’t met you yet, but I can picture them coming down your cheeks. Sweet! Also, thank you for your kind words, spoken by a true healer.
Beautiful words of wisdom! Thank you so much! Brought tears to my eyes. Love, Smiles, & Prayers …
Dr. Figueroa is reaching out to you, too–at least his words are. Glad to hear you’ve received their wisdom.
My Dear Gayle- what wonderful advice. What a wonderful caring oncologist you are blessed with.
Thank you for your inspiring words.
Love-Wanda
Hi Wanda, I’m actually blessed with two wonderful oncologists! One in my hometown of Redding and one in San Francisco. They both offer compassion and hugs! I’m a lucky woman,
Amazing woman with amazing men in her life! I am not surprised that you are surrounded by such warmth and support. It is because of the giving person you have always been. Your spirit makes each of us think about our own beings and appreciating the simple question that can bring such peace. Always wishing for you to be surrounded in love, peace and joy! I know that is the light I feel when I read your posts and it’s the light I felt whenever we shared in life’s events. Hugs dear friend.
Thank you for your kind words, Kat. We have shared so many adventures together through the years. I’m happy to have you join me on this one. It’s a bit different, but support right now never felt so good!
He’s my doctor too. I think he was sent from heaven.
I think so, too!
Hiiiiiiiii Gayle, I love that question, I think it works for everyone.. I’m gonna now ask myself that at the end of the night. Not really knowing Michael except for the time I get to spend with y’all in the waiting room, I CAN’T imagine him NOT doing the best he can do with you everyday. I can tell is a VERY compassionate man. I admire him for that with you. Sooooo now every night I will add to have you laughed six times today….. Have you done the best you can do? Good Energy Sent Your Way Gayle AND Michael’s too.
Sweet Leonard, I missed you last week as you were on vacation. CT scans just aren’t the same without you! I’m glad to hear you are adding this question to the end of your day. I have found it takes a big load off! And, yes, Mike is doing everything he can to help me, but he always wants to do more. I did laugh at least six times yesterday, as my two friends came to visit. It’s a Sunday thing–we get together and paint pictures. Our skills alone make us laugh out loud! Thanks for the good energy, Leonard. I feel it.
Dear Gayle and Mike, You are both such an inspiration to all. Love and prayers, Sharon
Thanks, Sharon. I appreciate your kind words, love and prayers!
I so know this to be true of Dr.
Figueroa. I have accompanied many into his office. Love is the major ingredient that distinguishes him. I appreciate your vulnerable sharing Gayle and Mike and Dr. Fig, with one another, and with us. Love Pam
Thanks, Pam. You’re right; you can feel Dr. Fig’s love radiate.
I am so glad you have at least two wonderful healers (not counting yourself) in your life. Be good to yourself, and love yourself, my friend. I am only one of hundreds, if not thousands, who love you. Thank you so much for all your words of wisdom. Love, Laurian
Hi Laurian, I am indeed lucky to have so many healers working on my behalf–including my cats. 🙂 I treasure your love, and love you too.
Dr. Figueroa is a Saint !
Hmmm….a Saint. I’ll tell him you said so. 🙂
What sage advice to us all, Gayle? In reflecting daily, have I done the best today? …even for myself…which is no easy task. Dr. Figuero was my doctor as well…a man who soothed the spirit and the body.
He, indeed, is a blessing to the entire community as well as his patients. I’m happy to hear, however, that you are a former patient!
That is a great blog and so true. Sometimes we try to help out God when He already is capable of caring for us in the best way. The Bible also says he sings over us. What a delightful song that is.
I love the phrase, “he sings over us.” What a beautiful, comforting thought. Thank you for sending it my way.
I, too, am healed through Dr. Figueroa’s advice. This is universal advice we can all ask ourselves, and our partners. Thank you Dr. Figueroa for your wisdom, and thank you Gayle, for being the messenger! All my love to you and both your Michael’s! Francie
Hi Francie, I love that we are all in this together. Helping each other is what we seem to do best. I know you do that with that ray of sunshine you exude everywhere you go.
What beautiful advice, Gayle. I’ve heard many good things about Dr. Figueroa, and I’m so glad you’re in his capable and compassionate hands. You are so very loved, and by so many! Happy summer to you. I’m sure you’ll find joy in every day. I always look forward to your blog posts. Thank you so much for sharing your life with those of us who love you and pray for you.
xoxo
Thank you for your prayers, Canda. I’m sure they are helping me to continue this walk I’m on. Happy summer to you, too.
I was just praying for you today in my garden and thinking about letting you know that I was keeping you in prayer, when I came in and looked at the computer and there you were with another one of your wonderful messages! Thank you for your beautiful and heartfelt insights that are so appropriate for everyone whether they have cancer or not. Thank you for sharing the love.
Love to you too!
Prayers from your garden, and your heart, must be very powerful-thank you. I’m happy you realize my messages are for everyone! I still want to meet with you and help you get started on your writing. Once you begin, you will love it. (Hopefully :-))
How could I possibly pass your generous offer for you to help me get started…let me know when it works for you and I wiii be there or you can come here!
Okay! It should be fun. In the meantime, please write on the topic, “My earliest childhood memory.” Or substitute “favorite” if you’d like so you have it finished by the time we meet. Don’t worry about writing style, just get your content written. Length doesn’t matter.
Those were beautiful words and a great recipe for living your life no matter what you are facing. Thank you Gayle- and Dr. Michael.
Love and strength to both of you.
Thanks, Bobbie. I’m happy to say I have the love, now I could use that strength you just sent my way!
Dr. Michael is so loving and caring that I feel “home” when I see him (which has only been twice now). It was difficult to get in to see him because he sees so many of us, but when he’s with you, he’s all there, and takes all the time we need. He’s God sent to us all and love him!
Thanks for sharing Gayle.
Couldn’t agree with you more! He’s a blessing to so many.
What a wonderful feeling it must be to have a partner who ‘wonders if they did enough for you today.’ So many of us go through life feeling unloved and alone. What a mixed blessing to share something so difficult with someone who loves you completely. Hope that you are feeling well and loved (by many) – apparently you are, abundantly.
Even better feeling to have one who knows he did. 🙂 It is a healing feeling. I’ve been thinking of you recently. Still journaling?
Should I give the ‘correct’ or a truthful answer? 😉 One day, I will develop better habits – the session we had was very good and gave me some valuable insight into areas I had not previously recognized as needing work. Generally, I have been well, just dealing with life in real time (like everyone else I know).
I have been thinking of you as well. Hope we will have the opportunity to get together again. Hope you have a beautiful day! <3
Truthful is always best! Besides, I have been a little neglectful with mine lately, too. You’re right, life in real time sometimes takes on its own agenda! Ever feel like you’re just along for the ride. 🙂 My best
Auntie, he is an amazing person! I was honored to have had him take care of Kevin. And I’m grateful he has you too! I love you
He is a wonderful man–and healer! I love you, too!